I am on the bus
Someone is looking at me
Curious eyes watch
My gaze cannot deflect this
I raise a trusty book shield
What do I see now
When I look in the mirror
It always changes
The reflection is blurry
I draw a heart in the fog
Animal Crossing
Is where I go when I’m sad
Life simulation
I like to help my townsfolk
They are happy to see me
I used to dream boy
Happy me as pretty boy
I used to fear change
Now I like to feel my skin
Happy me accepts this skin
My pronoun is they
I tell my new co-workers
I send them some links
Nobody tries to say they
What was the point of that then
Writing hat today
Sitting at the Strand Cafe
Remembering much
I have to stop when it’s good
Replenish the well by night
How can I accept
That you find me beautiful
I listen to ghosts
Who told me I was ugly
I am learning to forget
We go to yoga
Queer crew on mats at the back
I feel you with me
In corpse pose our spirits fly
Interlocking grids of light
I tell my story
It’s a story of others
The ones within me
It hurts when I pull them out
My healing starts on the page
Vogue Fem saved my femme
Goddess Ra with sunny smile
Yasss, she gave me life
From darkness my sass reborn
She slays all the pain away
Bastian Fox Phelan is a gender fluid writer and zinemaker living in Sydney. They are working on a memoir about facial hair, gender and relationships. They also sing in the dream pop duo Moonsign.
