The Google Search History of Henry Thumb, August 2015

How to undo a bra

How to undo a bra step by step guide

How to undo a bra step by step guide video

How to ask out a girl

How to ask out a girl simple

Are there different types of bra

What type of bra does blonde older girl in grade 11 wear

How to ask out blonde older girl in grade 11

How to be cool

Where to buy snapbacks

What kind of deodorant do girls like

What kind of deodorant do girls like cheap

 

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Is dancing cool

How to dance cool

Good music to dance

Sexy good music to dance

Sexy good music to dance not rap

Marvin Gaye or George Michael

George Michael gay

Is Careless Whisper about a man

Did people in the 80s know Careless Whisper was about a man

Careless Whisper lyrics

How did people in the 80s not know Careless Whisper was about a man

Will girls mind if you play them gay songs that sound good

Gay songs that sound good

Frank Ocean Channel Orange

 

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Make a playlist

How to make a playlist

How to make a playlist 2015

How to make friends

Is a mix USB still cool

How to make friends in highschool wikihow

Cheap USB ebay

Cheap iPod Shuffle ebay

Is an iPod Shuffle too much

Are mixtapes inherently romantic or can they be used to make friends too

Why are long google searches bad

Is brevity the soul of wit

Is brevity the soul of google searches

Best songs about friendship

You’re my best friend Queen

Freddy Mercury gay

 

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How to get Facebook likes

How to tell the best knock knock jokes

Memes that are cool right now

Do girls like Netflix and chill

Is Netflix and chill a good first date idea

Is Netflix and chill just a joke

Do girls like joke dates

Would blonde girl in grade 11 like joke dates

Why are joke dates a bad idea

What to do if people bully you on Facebook

Good first date ideas

Good first joke date ideas

Good first date ideas not joke dates

How much does it cost to hire a boat

How much does it cost to hire a boat small

How much is a kayak

How to block someone on Facebook

How likely am I to fall out of a kayak

How to block lots of people on Facebook at once

Are there sharks in Oxley Creek

How hungry are sharks

Can I feed Michael Temple to the sharks

When is it legal to kill someone

 

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How to take apart a razor blade

How to take apart a razor blade just for fun

 

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Porn

Porn girl on top

Porn girl on top demonstrational

Do girls prefer to be on top

What is the patriarchy

Do girls prefer to be on top sex

Do girls have sex just because men like it

What is a patriarchal power structure

How to make sex good for the girl

How to guess what a girl is into without asking

BDSM

BDSM when to use

Do I need to put on a condom

Do I need to put on a condom how

 

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Break into a locker

Break into a locker Premier A150

Is it legal to break into a locker to leave an iPod Shuffle

How to tell who are my real friends

Is anxiety a legal defense

Friendship quiz

Is love a legal defense

How to make your friends do friendship quizzes

Is love a legal defense why not

How to make your friends do friendship quizzes without noticing

Is a jury of your peers literally your peers

Paranoia or everyone really hates you

What to do if your peers do not like you

How to tell if people are looking at you or just into space

Can you pick your jury

How to talk to your dad

Can blonde older girl in grade 11 be on my jury

Porn legal themed

 

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Laughed with vs Laughed at difference

 

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Sad songs

Whose version of Mad World is saddest

Songs sadder than Mad World

Songs at least as sad as Mad World

Sad things to do

Sad things to do not bath

Sad things to do not bath not write poems

Sad things to do not bath not write poems not watch 500 Days of Summer

What is an effigy

Burning effigies

Claudia Thomson Facebook photos

How to position person’s essence in effigy

Lighting effigy best thing to use

 

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How to turn off smoke alarm

How to explain smoke alarm

Smoke alarm excuses

Smoke alarm excuses believable

What to do if you are unlovable

Burn marks how to clean

 

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Dad finds your burnt effigy what to do

Explaining effigy to dad

Explaining effigy to divorced dad

Explaining love to divorced dad

Explaining love to divorced dad not The Parent Trap

Burn marks how to clean a second time

Bleach cheap

Bleach edible

Bleach LD50

Giving up life

Giving up life not suicide helpline

Giving up life memes

 

 

Jonathan O’Brien is a Brisbane-based writer, editor, and creative producer. He is the Founding Creative Director of House Conspiracy and winner of the 2017 State Library of Queensland Young Writers Award. @jonobri / jonobri.com

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