Aftershocks

you binned the evidence
and laughed because it couldn’t have happened
     
washed your skirt and washed
the spiked glass with the others
     
weeks later picked up a nice guy at a bar
               threw up on him
     
a shrink asks if you were drunk
               offers hypnosis
     
instead you become the mute epicentre
of a word of warning
     
you file a binding spell
               as a closed report
     
on the Richter scale it was barely a three
     
half a decade of aftershocks
               online
               in bed
               on buses
               his black hair near a girl at a party
     
one day you laugh
telling a friend how tiny he was
     
you inhabit this silence:
               it wasn’t even violent
     
why didn’t you struggle then
like you struggle now
               under his weight
               which like Atlas
               he has tricked you into carrying
     
you are not afraid of him
     
you fear
that one day you’ll see his name
               in the news
     
               and that will be your fault
               too