‘So have you done South-East Asia?’ she asks.
When people ask me this I imagine South-East Asia as a girl without a face. No eyes, no mouth, just an impossibly beautiful body, like the ones you see on television. It is not white but not black, just the right darkness to be considered attractive. It cannot speak. It cannot make eye contact.
It is getting fucked doggystyle by a strong masculine figure, someone who looks like Rambo. He does not wear protection. He ejaculates inside her, then someone else takes his place. It is hard to know if she is enjoying it, but she does not seem disagreeable. She does not have a face, after all.
But the girl is looking at me with a hint of suggestion, and it’s been three months since I’ve felt a woman’s lips. She has dreadlocks, which is a plus, and a nose piercing, which is another plus. The Chinese tattoo that stands for ‘No Fear’ is a definite minus. On balance the pluses outweigh the minuses.
So I reply, ‘yeah. Yeah, actually I was born there. I can’t believe you’ve been there, nobody ever goes there.’ Then, to seal the deal, ‘no one ever seems to go further than Bali, you know?’
Yee lives in Geelong and enjoys looking after his chooks Drumstick, Zucchini and Tobasco. Queen Schnitzel recently passed away from a heart attack as a result of a weight problem she did not want to face up to. May she rest in peace.