
Scum Horoscopes – May
TAURUS – April 21 – May 21 No wonder Taureans are supposed to be the human equivalent of a pile of crushed-velvet cushions; is there…
Read MoreTAURUS – April 21 – May 21 No wonder Taureans are supposed to be the human equivalent of a pile of crushed-velvet cushions; is there…
Read MoreARIES – March 21 – April 20 It’s your birthday, Aries. Why not do some self-improvement, the old-fashioned way? I’m talking self-help books, baby. You…
Read MorePISCES – February 20- March 20 Happy birthday, Pisces. At this, the start of a new solar revolution, try something new: try asking for help….
Read MoreSAGGITARIUS – November 23 – December 20 Happy birthday Sagittarius! Do you have a favourite song? If not, now’s the time to find one….
Read MoreSCORPIO – October 24 – November 22 Happy birthday, Scorpio. I wish I could tell you that you’ve got an amazing month in store for…
Read MoreVIRGO – August 23 – September 23 It’s your birthday month, Virgo, and I have a feeling that you already know what you need to…
Read MoreLEO – July 23 -August 22 Happy birthday, Leo! Now is the time to demand your tithe from the lucky fools you allow to surround…
Read MoreCANCER – June 22 – July 22 It’s your birthday, Cancer. Go outside tonight and look at the waxing moon. It’s just a little sliver…
Read MoreGEMINI – May 22 – June 21 Happy birthday, Gemini. People love to throw shade on your sign, and you can almost see why –…
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